Fine.

You do not write comments anymore.

You do not call.

And I can just give up ever thinking you will send me flowers.

What’s up with that?

Listen here.

I am very passive-aggressive today.

You and I have not just sat down and talked in like, forever.

Kidney stone problem is still a problem.

Thanks to all of you who have reached out to see if I was ok.

The SATURNdiary was hacked on Sunday.

I hired Andy Melton to fix it and he did a fantastic job! I urge all of you to hire Andy when you need computer help.

PizzaBabe calls Bean a whore and a prude. . . Not a winning strategy.

Listen to the TiggerCast

Listen to AJ’s Cuppa Tea

Listen to Rebbecca Nay’s Tranny Wreck (She was mean and cranky on her last podcast)

Listen to the Gay Expat

Listen to the Freak Network

Why is it that I give all of you iTunes reviews but none of you have seen fit to give me one? (even a bad one! SHAME ON YOU)

Wal-Mart and Dunkin’ Donuts PC BS.

Red China is going to own space in 10 years. We are dumb-asses.

Madge Weinstein calls me a hater. So untrue.

Apple iPhone is useless.

Steve Jobs need a suit.

From the Podsafe Music Network: Uncle Seth — You Don’t Need an iPod.

Metalica sucks.

I think addicts need 12 step programs.

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I am in a very bad mood today — for a whole host of reasons.

This story was the final straw.

Donald Trump and Ms. USA Tara Conner can go to hell. Together. In a handbasket.

Turns out Ms. Conner who is under the age of 21, was partying hardy in New York City. She got caught.

That is embarrassing for the Ms. USA people. I mean they have an image to protect. Bad image equals no money. And money, as we all know, makes the world go round and round. . .

Donald Trump owns the Ms. USA business.

So he wanted to fire her ass.

She started to cry about it.

Crying beauty queens are far worse for public relations than drunk beauty queens.

You do the math. . .

Yep. They did not fire her.

Here are the powerful words from The Donald:

“Tara is going to be given a second chance,” the real estate mogul said after meeting with Conner earlier on Tuesday. “Tara got caught up in the whirlwind of New York.“She made some very, very bad choices,” he said. “She admits that she made mistakes.”

Gee Donald. That is like so so big of you to give her a second chance. The fact that she could sue you for firing her for having a substance abuse problem had nothing to do with it right?

Of course not!

And Ms. USA had this very,very powerful statement to give to the world:

“I wouldn’t say that I am an alcoholic. That would be pushing the envelope a little bit,” she said. “I don’t have a problem with anything like that.”

Oh, of course not! That would be pushing the envelope to accuse you of that. Who hasn’t been almost fired from a job for drinking too much and jepordizing their entire career?

Yes, you are right Ms. USA! The rehabs of America are filled to the gills with people who don’t have real addictions!

What a role model you are! Whoring off your good looks is fine! But don’t disgrace us with an addiction problem! Please! No young women I know have substance abuse problems! Don’t freak us out with one!

God bless you Donald Trump for believing in second chances! You ole’ softy!

For some reason, the media cut off the part of the press conference where you said all of this year’s Ms. USA profits are going to substance abuse programs and education. I hate when the media cuts that stuff out! I am sure it was an oversight, right?

Ugh.

I hate the world today.

Listen Here.

The Eiffel Tower is traditionally known for its romance.

Not for The Bean and me.

Listen to the wind howl, the large crowds, Bean not wanting to kiss me and see with your mind as I slowly grow crankier and crankier — I even scold an Eiffel Tower employee
From the Podsafe Music Network:

Fuck the RIAA by dotCommunism

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Listen to the Podcast here.

I start off today’s show with Bishop Fulton Sheen lecturing us on, of all things, sex.
I produce a very angry rant against the Catholic Church.
As a victim of clergy sexual abuse, I express outrage at the corruptness and greed of the church.

Bean gets attacked by a security officer at Sacre’ Coeur Basillica in Paris for taking a picture. Turns out the church forbids picture taking inside the church so they can sell the picture postcards in their gift shop.

Disgusting.

I applaud Madge Weinstein of Yeast Radio for mentioning the abuse crisis on her show.

Bean and I are amazed at our visit to the Palace of Versaille in France. Simply breathtaking.

We go on a private tour of Louis XVI’s private apartments. I question some of the assertions given by our French tour guide. (Which means a history lesson to you)

I applaud Rebecca Nay of Tranny Wreck Radio for her recent surgery.

I urge everyone to listen to Marti Abernathy’s Fat Tranny Circus

I thank the PizzaBabe for all her support.

Listen to the Gay Expat.

From the PodSafe Music Network

Fight at the Church Dance by Legends on Heroin

Hypocrites Code by Big Softy

I want to hear your feedback. Email me at saturncast@gmail.com, leave a comment on my blog at saturndiary.com or call me at 206-338-2154

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Listen here.

Today’s show starts before the show even starts.  The world famous Bean overheard me podcasting last night and takes offense to me calling her a “podcast nag.”  So she called my voice mail with a response.  I am a fair person, so I play her response before the show so all of you can make up your mind if she is a nag or not.

I start the official show by playing a clip from FDR.

Remember Chico and the Man?  Remember Jose Feliciano?

A give a HUGE HUGE Shout Out to Tigger. He made me some fantastic and thoughtful podcast cover-up.  He did not have to do that, but he did.

I am smitten with Lynette of PB& J Podcast. It makes me lament on how the Bean is a podcast nag. (Bean claims she is not a podcast nag)

I hate the greed of ABC with their Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

George Eastman charity story.

I am a hypocrite and I admit it.

I hate charity balls.

People need to volunteer more.

Try not to give people bad news — or good news.

Going to Paris soon!

Give some good mojo to the Bean — who is scheduled for surgery on December 6.

From the Podsafe Music Network:

They Feed on Greed by Undercover Hippie.

Colonial Williamsburg by Tris McCall

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I am a huge fan of Thomas Jefferson. So much so that I named my dog after him.

Whenever I am in Washington, D.C. I like to go to the Jefferson Memorial and read the walls — which are filled with his writings. I get choked up in there. (I really do)

Abraham Lincoln once said of Jefferson: “The principles of Jefferson are the definitions and axioms of a free society.”

So, when I saw the chance to purchase The Complete Written Works of Thomas Jefferson, I jumped at the opportunity.

I mean really people, who wouldn’t?

I wish I hadn’t done that. I will never think of him in the same light again.

Here is some profound words from Thomas:

If any white woman shall have a child by a Negro or mulatto, she and her child shall depart the commonwealth within one year thereafter. If they fail to do so, the woman shall be out of the protection of the laws, and the child shall be bound by the Alderman of the county, in like manner as poor orphans are by law directed to be, and within one year after its terms of service expired shall depart the commonwealth, or on failure to do so, shall be out of the protection of the laws.

Had enough? There’s more!!!

Riots, routs, unlawful assemblies, trespasses and seditious speeches by a Negro or mulatto shall be punished with stripes at the discretion of a Justice of the Peace; and he who will may apprehend and carry him before the Justice.

(Sections V and X: “A Bill Concerning Slaves”, Thomas Jefferson, 1779)

No one deserves hero status. Thomas Jefferson should be ashamed. And I am mad at myself for believing the hype.

And if anyone asks you, Christiaan Huygen’s dog is named after Weezie, not Thomas

If you did not know, today was election day in the United States.

Today, the Sun rose in the east and it set in the west.

The Earth revolved around the Sun.

Some people were born while others died.

Some of us were laid off from work, while others won the lottery.

You know what tomorrow will be?

The same.

As you watch some candidates give concession speeches, and others gush in the public adoration of victory, remember this:

The only person that can change the quality of your life is you. No one else. Period.

There is no one “perfect candidate” that will fix your woes.

There is no one “evil candidate” that you can blame all your problems on.

Candidates do not run for office to change the world. They do it out of ego.

Yes, some do end up making a difference but that is only a happy accident.

Please remember this as you sit glued to your tv watching the returns or spending all day in the rain passionately handing out your favorite candidate’s palm cards.

At the end of the day the only person you can count on is yourself.

Everything else is just entertainment while you wait for the Earth to continue its rotation. . .

I am starting to get very upset over how the media and public are treating Madonna over her recent adoption of a poor African baby.

Anyone who slams her whisking in and whisking out of Africa with that baby does not know Madonna. That bothers me because anyone who knows Madonna’s body of work knows she is like, so totally deserving of violating adoption laws.

I mean, its not like Africa is a real country anyway.

Critics are just lazy. Do some research on Madonna.

Here is a selected work of Madonna’s. Sit down when you read this because it is profound. It is deep. And I do not want to be responsible for you falling down and hitting your head because you are overcome with emotion.

Yes, Madonna is that relevant.

Here it is:

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they’re o.k.
If they don’t give me proper credit
I just walk away

They can beg and they can plead
But they can’t see the light, thats right
cause the boy with the cold hard cash
Is always mister right, cause we are

Chorus:

Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Some boys romance, some boys slow dance
Thats all right with me
If they cant raise my interest then i
Have to let them be

Some boys try and some boys lie but
I don’t let them play
Only boys who save their pennies
Make my rainy day, cause they are

(chorus)

Living in a material world [material]
Living in a material world
(repeat)

Boys may come and boys may go
And thats all right you see
Experience has made me rich
And now theyre after me, cause everybodys

(chorus)

A material, a material, a material, a material world

Living in a material world [material]
Living in a material world
(repeat and fade)

I know!

After reading that, it is hard not to have rightous anger over those Africans who made Madonna come to them for the baby! They should have come to her!

Thank god Oprah understands. But then again, Oprah always does, doesn’t she?