Listen here.

Are you there God?

It’s me, Christiaan.

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This episode is light and breezy.  No depressing stuff. Promise!

I was on the Pizzababe Goes Global podcast this week.

Rebecca Nay releases her Thailand video!

Tigger did a fantastic podcast about Alice and Albert’s morphine addiction.

Listen to the Freak Network

Did Andy Melton die in space?

Tigger finally got to talk to Bean.  His dream realized.  (Sorry AJ from cuppatea.us)

Matt from Spanking Bea Arthur is podcasting! He is also giving lame thank you’s for the wristwatch.

Hexagons on Saturn.  You guys FINALLY notice?

Zillafag quits smoking.

Shout-out to Dace.  Would it kill Dace to update his blog?

I give kudos to Bob for moving to Wisconsin and following his dream.

Arnold scams Newsweek.

A public service announcement telling you not to die an awful death.

Bye for now!

Guess the song and win a SATURNcast T-shirt! 

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I talk today about how the Bean and I are on the verge of losing the girls we were about to adopt.

Thank you all for your moral support. It means the world (a Saturn-sized world) to us.

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Can you believe that this is the 30th Rings of Saturn SATURNcast?!!

That jerk, Issac Newton could never podcast for this long.

I want to thank all of you for your incredible support and kind words during the Bean and my attempt to adopt two little girls.

It means a great deal to us.

The Bean updates you all about what happened last Wednesday during our interview.

I promise not to bore you with adoption stories.

I read an infurating article from baby-boomers who claim the younger generation is far more selfish than they are.

POPPYCOCK!

Check out the new never before seen pictures from Saturn.

Listen to The Freak Network

Listen to John Ong’s wonderful Ongline Podcast

Leave me a voice mail at 206-338-2154

or email me at saturncast at gmail.com

I have the best fans in the world!

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V For Vendetta is an awsome book and movie.

An ode to the wristwatch. . .

Lawerence from South Africa calls the SATURNcast!  I am very honored.

You too can call the SATURNcast at 206-338-2154

Andy Melton designs a fantastic new look for the SATURNdiary.

Brittany Spears reminds me of my time in rehab — which I recount for all of you today.  It was a very scary time in my life.

Please send the Bean and I some positive mo-jo.  We are very close to adopting two little girls.

I love all of you.  Christiaan Huygens has the best listeners on Earth.

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The show starts with a wonderful message from the lovely Cheryl Merkowski.

Guess the mystery speaker slamming Franklin Roosevelt and win a SATURNcast T-shirt!

I hate Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day etc. They are all made up holidays to give the card companies money. You should express your love because you love someone, not because society tells you too!!!

Remember when I talked about being addicted to a person? Well, NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak proves my theory. She threw away her entire life due to her addiction to a person.

She was also an overachiever — which can lead to real problems.

Trent Reznor is GOD.

I give you all a little history lesson on the Kennedy family. JFK had many faults, but I still like him.

Listen to the Mysterious Universe podcast.

I enjoyed my Skype call with Andy Melton, Dace, and Zillafag.

Zilla takes my side against the evil Bean. (finally, someone. . .)

E-mail me at Saturncast at gmail.com

Call me at (206) 338-2154.

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I am very passive-aggressive today.

You and I have not just sat down and talked in like, forever.

Kidney stone problem is still a problem.

Thanks to all of you who have reached out to see if I was ok.

The SATURNdiary was hacked on Sunday.

I hired Andy Melton to fix it and he did a fantastic job! I urge all of you to hire Andy when you need computer help.

PizzaBabe calls Bean a whore and a prude. . . Not a winning strategy.

Listen to the TiggerCast

Listen to AJ’s Cuppa Tea

Listen to Rebbecca Nay’s Tranny Wreck (She was mean and cranky on her last podcast)

Listen to the Gay Expat

Listen to the Freak Network

Why is it that I give all of you iTunes reviews but none of you have seen fit to give me one? (even a bad one! SHAME ON YOU)

Wal-Mart and Dunkin’ Donuts PC BS.

Red China is going to own space in 10 years. We are dumb-asses.

Madge Weinstein calls me a hater. So untrue.

Apple iPhone is useless.

Steve Jobs need a suit.

From the Podsafe Music Network: Uncle Seth — You Don’t Need an iPod.

Metalica sucks.

I think addicts need 12 step programs.

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The world-famous Bean joins Rings of Saturn #21 as a guest host.

Am I wrong to question other podcasters use of audio-blackface?

Is therefore the use of Brian Boothby hypocritical?

We discuss the Saddam Hussein execution. The person in charge of public relations for this hanging should be fired.

ANDY MELTON LAUNCHES INTO SPACE! It will take him ten years to get to Saturn.

Andy will update us about his space journey on the SATURNcast from time to time.

Bean and I end the show discussing the death of Gerald Ford, and how poor it was of everybody not to show up for his state ceremonies.

New Year’s Day is just like every other day — exactly the same.

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Listen to Rings of Saturn #18 here.

And make sure to support The Freak Network.

A PizzaBabe Goes Global intro.

I mash and mix up a Nine Inch Nails open-source re-mix of The Hand That Feeds by J666 of the Nine Inch Nails remix website.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the support all have given the Bean and me during her surgery.

The People in Real Life (you know who you are)

And the Cyber-Community:

NiiceLady (my first listener)

ZillaCast

Tranny Wreck

Andy Melton

The Gay Expat

Pizzababe

Okay So Radio

And a HUGE SHOUT OUT TO TIGGER of the TIGGER PODCAST

I play an audio message from Tigger.

The Bean credits Tigger’s candle for a successful surgery.
PizzaBabe does heartwarming, family-orientated “mini-podcasts” on Thursdays.

I lament over senior-citizen drives and Baby-Boomers.

Congrats to the Gay Expat for getting his French Visa!

Off the Podsafe Music Network :

Senior Citizen Love Fest by Joshua Grosvent

Laments of the Irish Immigrant by Brareus

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As loyal listeners and readers know. I am a huge fan of Trent Reznor and Nine Inch Nails. No matter what type of mood you are in, he has a song that fits your emotional state.

Today I am really feeling “Starfuckers Inc“-ish

And if you think I am being cryptic, and you think this may be about you, it is probably not (don’t worry) but Trent even has that angle covered in this song.

Every so often I will give you a Trent Reznor moment here.

Today’s selection is. . .

“Starfuckers, Inc.”

my god sits in the back of the limousine
my god comes in a wrapper of cellophane
my god pouts on the cover of the magazine
my god’s a shallow little bitch trying to make the scene

I have arrived and this time you should believe the hype
I listened to everyone now I know that everyone was right
I’ll be there for you as long as it works for me
I play a game
it’s called insincerity

starfuckers
starfuckers
starfuckers, inc.
starfuckers

I am every fucking thing and just a little more
I sold my soul but don’t you dare call me a whore
and when I suck you off not a drop will go to waste
it’s really not so bad you know once you get past the taste, yeah
(asskisser)

starfuckers
starfuckers
starfuckers, inc.
starfuckers

all our pain
how did you think we’d get by without you?
you’re so vain
I bet you think this song is about you
don’t you?
don’t you?
don’t you?
don’t you?

now I belong I’m one of the chosen ones
now I belong I’m one of the beautiful ones